How do I start to talk to my 4-7 year old about Sex Ed?
Let’s face it—toddlers ask a lot of questions, and some of them are bound to be about their bodies. From “Why do I have a belly button?” to “What’s this called?”—our little ones are naturally curious, and that’s a good thing! Talking about their bodies in a way that feels normal and positive builds trust and sets the stage for healthy communication as they grow up.
Here’s some friendly advice on how to answer those questions in a way that satisfies their curiosity and reinforces confidence and body awareness. Let’s dive in!
1. Keep It Simple and Honest
When your kiddo points and asks, “What’s that?” they’re not looking for a long explanation. Just use the correct name, even if it feels funny at first. This simple honesty helps them understand that their whole body is just… normal.
Example: “That’s your vulva! It’s just another part of your body, like your arm or your nose.”
2. Normalize Body Parts and Functions
Kids are curious about everything—especially how their bodies work. Use these questions to casually explain what each part does, even if it’s just “helping us move.” It can take the mystery (and embarrassment) out of things and help them feel more at ease with themselves.
Example: “That’s your belly button! It’s where you were connected to me before you were born. Now it’s just there.”
3. Answer Exactly What They’re Asking
Sometimes kids will ask something that sounds big to you, but to them it’s simple. If they say, “Why is your body different from mine?” they don’t need a lesson in anatomy. They’re just noticing the difference!
Example: “My body is bigger because I’m a grown-up! Everyone’s body is a little different.”
4. Use Positive Language
Let’s help our kids feel good about their bodies from the start. When talking about body parts, avoid words like “dirty” or “bad,” especially for private areas. This keeps things open and comfortable so they feel okay asking questions down the line.
Example: “It’s totally ok to touch your penis, it belongs to you, and that’s something you should do in private.”
5. Teach Boundaries and Privacy Early On
Kids don’t need the whole talk on privacy, but they can start learning what’s personal. Use this as an opportunity to gently introduce the idea of privacy, so they get that certain parts of their body are for them only, while also knowing it’s okay to ask about anything.
Example: “Some parts of our bodies are private, which means they’re just for us. And it’s okay to talk about them if you have questions!”
6. Encourage Curiosity
Toddlers naturally want to know more about their world, so if they’re curious about their bodies, that’s a good thing! When we respond calmly and encourage their questions, we’re letting them know that talking about their bodies isn’t off-limits.
Example: “I love that you’re curious about your body! If you have any more questions, you can always ask me.”
7. Make It Part of Daily Life
Bath time, getting dressed, or even playing outside can all be great moments to reinforce body awareness in a way that’s casual and fun. Use these times to name body parts, talk about what they do, and celebrate everything their little bodies can do!
Example Activity: “Let’s wash your feet—look how strong they are! They help you run and jump!”
8. Model Comfort and Respect
Kids pick up on our cues, so if we talk about bodies with confidence, they’ll feel comfortable too. If it’s new or feels a little awkward, just keep it light and casual.
Example Approach: When answering questions, keep your tone relaxed and positive, treating it like any other topic they’re curious about.
You don’t need to know all the “right” answers. Just keep it simple, honest, and positive. And hey, if you ever feel a little unsure? That’s okay! We’re all in this together.
